dreams

I think of you as I fall asleep,

as I wake up to a new day,

and everything in between.

fallin' for you

So I had a blast at the church service and valedictory dinner which I attended this evening. I think it has finally hit me that i'm well and truly leaving school. Having the last church service and hearing Bel Canto's singing really made me realise how much i'll miss (va's singing) EVERYTHING! [no i didn't cry . .but i was on the verge of tears , ended up hugging dasha for like 5 mins afterwards hehe^^]
*tear*

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
as the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again my friends,
until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

-traditional gaelic blessing

i absolutely love the voices echo in the church. I shall really miss that.

Oh and from that service i began to reminisce as i heard my favourite section of the bible, also known as the school lesson; 1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I almost cried when I heard this, as i often do during the starts and ends of each school year. And i now realise i have just wrote a whole lot . . on the church service.

moving on

I was driven to Albert by the lake by va's mum with masha and yukako chan too!! Along the way we drove by the seaside and it was the most gorgeous sunset, with a slight haze so that the sun's fiery colours magnified. we had the windows down and were blasting jap reggae and german songs as we sang :)

new song that i'm addicted to is. .
chehon - 'midori'
(no it's not about your teacher XDD)

the chorus

愛した相手の名前は みどり
いつのまにか お前の とりこに
さみしいやんけ, オレをひとりに
しないでいてくれや

愛した相手の名前は みどり
いつのまにか お前の とりこに
さみしいやんけ, オレをひとりに
しないでいてくれよ
ずっとそばに

translate it if you're game =PP

. . .fast forward to arrival

nothing much happened here,
Kandori sensei was on my table with Yukako, and they were like the only ones talking (in japanese of course..kinda awkwards)
amally was emo with her two parents. refused to take photos and didn't talk at all. only stayed for food, then started texting (probs oscar at the dinner table XDD) meh
neways the jap people next to me talked about weird stuff (as opposed to the academic achievement based english talk) such as . . .
-the teacher not eating beef recently and changing to veal and kangaroo meat?!
-talking about facebook (teachers, parents inc.)
-cancelling jap tour this yr due to swine flu, and kandori loving this decision
-how in japan toasts come before eating, rather than after
-how i cried when i first failed my test in mr. Robertson's class XD yr 8
etc. etc.

this is a really long post, wonder if you've survived it all so far?! O_O

cut to the chase, the dinner was really western, overpriced, yummy? mmmmm dessert
it was like the formal all over again minus the disco and the ball gowns

then cos mum drank (not much but still XDD), i got to drive home!! whee
at like 11:30 at night, not smart, espesh when i woke up at 6:30 that morning for VD day!
but i turned up LOVE SONG DEDICATIONS
and i ended up thinking bout you and how you were doing
and that i probs shouldn't be texting you cos you'd have been SLEEPING by then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so this song pop-ed up and i thought i'd dedicate it to you tee hee^^

here goes: Fallin' for you -Colbie Caillat

I don’t know but
I think I maybe
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better

I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you

As I’m standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It’s just you
and me

I’m trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you

Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I can’t stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can’t hide it
I think I’m fallin’ for you (x2)
I’m fallin’ for you
OoohhhOh no noOooooohhh
Oh I’m fallin’ for you

I LOVE YOU

just not enough. . .

DRAWINGGG !
i realise that my blog is slowly filling up with words and not enough images
and somehow i feel like starting a drawing project although i know that now is sortaaaa not the time for that. but but but all i wanna do is drawwww. i miss drawing so much, and i can't wait til these 1.5 months are over, then i can draw all day long, and visit interesting art exhibits and ahhhh such is life =DD
ideas for the project anyone??
recently at borders i saw a book (funny that!) which was a whole collection of postcards this artist had drawn/bought from travels/made herself? and she would one everyday to someone she knew or strangers for that matter, and the things she wrote on them were quite random. inspired. some didn't even have the proper postcard template, and the address was simply scribbled in an unused little corner and a postage stamp was stuck on to this special piece of card . >_<
called : From Sometimes, Love Beth . <- i think
so yeah that's my art life so far. recently i've been hooked onto some designer blogs who are hooked onto other designers' blogs and its just pure awesome. please check out some listed to the right - - - > tres cool desu! um um mu? what elseee
oh for the project i might start a 365 day one if i can think of a theme, that'd be fun to do and hopefully make this blog a tad more colourful^^ another thing i wanted to do was join a life drawing class. .hmm i've been looking through a few websites and most of them are for non-students so i'll be the youngest one there joy! but i might still go just cos i lurrvvvv the anatomy of the human body and yeah people are challenging to draw and fun too. [for those who don't quite know. .life drawing is nude, as opposed to drawing a flower from life >_>yeh yeh?] althoughhhhhhhhhh, i did find a company that drew models but every week they had themed costumes such as circus/ gothic / etc. awesomeness, but i think ill pass on that one hahaha. who woulda thought bloggin about drawing could be so long O_O. yet another thing i want to do isss. redecorate ma room!! someone feels like getting new curtains, i don't reallyyyyy mind the ones i have now because i can just pull them up when its summer and have clean empty windows, always a plus, but until the summerrrr my room will be staying messy i guess. unless of course i go on some housework rampage as i do and decide to spend a whole day cleaning (perfectionist as i am) til there's not a speck of dust anywhere .
right that went off on a tangent . so closing my argument is . . .


draw.

pasta?

So, today I decided to try making dinner by myself. . .
and this is how it turned out >_<

yes, we do have hello kitty and pochacco placemats at our house XDDD

guess what it is???

cabonara!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. my fav

the carrots were added cos mum decided it didn't have any veggies

but they were yummy too! usually i don't eat much carrot unless its really softly boiled baby carrot. . so i cooked it for like 15 mins hahahahah

yayness

funny story : you can't see in the pic but there is also sliced tofu in it too

which i also happen not to eat much of except the silken tubey yellow type

hahah i'm not picky with food whatsoever

so neways,

mum explains to me that tofu is 'meat', and when i asked her to expand on that she answered its 'vegie meat'

i was like 'mum they're TOTALLY on separate sections of the food triangle'

then she was like 'well its the meat replacement for those who don't eat it >_<'

hahhahahahahahah 'yes mum'

turns out i completely fail at cooking

seeing as i get like half a pot of leftovers from being not eaten

(dad has a natural distaste for western foods = =""")

yay for my lunch tomoro

it was yummy to me!! but then again i eat any food with sauce on it

(not inc. carrot and tofu)

hmmm

yes

mum put pepper in it as well!!! which i couldn't taste *cough*

so there we go

project : dinner

P.S. it was delish

dear yangy boy. . .

take a deep breath,
drink some of your HAPPY JUICE
and face life with all its loose rocks that make you slip right down when climbing a steep mountain.

where else in the world can I find a person who is intent on waiting at the train station with me on the way home, missing his next train back during the waiting period? a person who will stare at the computer screen for unnecessary amounts of time with a lack of things to say, someone who will return my weird smiles, while others ask 'why do you always smile like that?'

Why do I put up with you, you ask?

because
I want to celebrate our graduation together
to celebrate all the support we've given each other
I want to share a bit of life with you
because
you have never done anything to hurt me
I know I'm not the prettiest girl
but you take care of me all the same
because
a person has a lot of love to give
endlessly
there's no point in waiting for a moment to share it
because
you are mine

...just because

Memory recreates landscape

The uneven wooden floorboards creak as I follow my hand along the wall, walking unsteadily across the old familiar hallway, where my childhood summers were spent chasing frantically after imaginary monsters and naming myself a hero after taking the victory after a tough fight. A musty smell remains lingered in each room except one; the reading room.
While a fresh warm breeze drifted through the wide open windows, letting a light shine deeply onto the glistening floors, I would sit in an energetic bundle at my grandfather’s feet, quiet yet eager. My grandfather was a man of little wonders. Together we spent days sharing the crayon drawings from my sketchbook, while I listened intently to each poetic detail of his stories, recorded with blotchy ink scribbles in his tea and dirt stained notebook.
My string of thoughts is broken by the chirp of a dunlin outside and instantly the silence and warm air is gone, as I realize that I had wandered into the images of my mind once again. The dunlin which brought me back was grandfather’s most prized subject. From memory its skinny black beak protruding its brown and white softly feathered body sounded common at first, but when grandfather named the birds, he made them sound extraordinary. Although I can only recognize it from its distinct call, I feel its presence on the window ledge beside me as it peers, cocking its head from side to side.
Now, as my feet edge towards the upright easel, I knock over a jar filled with murky water in which I use to wash frayed paint brushes, and it seeps into the unsmooth carpet, and my head begins to wander, but this time to war. The carpet beneath me feels sodden, and transforms itself into the slush of mud. The sweet chirps I hear become louder and are twisted into the sounds of battle cry and gunfire. The bitter, pungent smell of turpentine is replaced by the smell of blood, of brown rotting corpses flung across the narrow path, and the smoky haze of newly lit gunpowder. Flashes of faces I met, people I accompanied, and unnamed figures who I will never know, stream like a winding river in my endless mind, and my brushstrokes become heavy and distracted, creating violent lashes of jagged colour across my clean canvas. Over and over my hand refuses to stop, as it clenches the palette knife and continues to thicken layer upon layer until the texture is coarse when my fingertips accidentally sense the cool touch of wet paint.
Then my mind switches black. The consequences of the war have turned my world into darkness, but once in a while my worn brush touches the canvas allowing the frames in my mind to come to life, and to be hung up on my wall next to the rest of them.