timeless secrets

I notice the familiar, bitter, strong scent of turpentine as it once again surrounds me, in the emptiness of my attic. Soft beams of sunlight float through the open windows, and a warm fresh breeze sweeps through the maze, rustling papers as it winds about. From my view I can see the world outside and all its treasures, as clear as a glass of water, and yet I remain inside, and decide to render my own worlds full of passion and endless scenes. This is my hide out.
Unordered piles of old paper, torn but still worthy textures, tubes of paint from which oils leak not at the lid but the worn out crack at the sealed end, to which I now wonder how its existence came about, all messily camouflage the once polished surface of a wooden table. Among these are jars of murky and unchanged water, in which neglected reminents of pigment have sunk to the bottom and settled, creating a dusty cloud if ever disturbed. There are fragments of colour and curls of fragile, thin wood scattered over the floor from discarded piles of pencil sharpenings.
But within all of this beautiful catastrophe, I am now faced with a blank canvas, just the regular size. The brushes I hold in my hands, thin, thick, hog hair, sable hair, round, or flat, all wait patiently to create the next piece of pure expression taking the form of continuous brushstrokes. However this artwork as all the previous and all those to come, will routinely be appreciated by everyone except for me; for artists always see their faults, existent or not.

zoo outing cont...

zoo ooutings

Folding the world continued

^^^^^^^^^^possible front cover??^^^^^^^^^^

Folding the world

only you

silent words..
I hope I can make you happy, even when you're feeling your worst. If I can't then I don't deserve you, and I'm sure you will find someone later on who can. I'm sorry for making you feel jealous of others, and feeling unsecure about yourself. No one will ever be a better friend than you. I can see the care you show and I'll always appreciate it, your efforts really stand out. no one. . not even yourselffff can call you a stupid idiot simply for caring and feeling the way you did. You will always be my one and only. everything about you is amazing!! thank you for being youself. It's okay if your bothered about something, it's human. It's okay if you don't feel like talking to me. I understand you, even if you don't say anything. I will wait for you no matter how long it takes, until you'll accept me back into your life. So take your time, and find all the happy things in your life again. If all else fails, I'll give you A GREAT BIG HUG .


just us.

If I ain't got you - Alicia Keys

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you babe
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you with me baby

Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

きせき

明日今日よりも好きになれる
あふれる思いが泊まらない
今もこんなに好きでいるのに
言葉にできない

君のくれた日々がつみかさなり
過ぎ去った日々二人歩いたきせき
僕らの出会いがもしぐうぜんならば
うんめいならば君にめぐり合えた

それってきせき

二人ゆりそって歩いて
とわの愛をかたちにして
いつまでも君のよこで笑っていたくて
ありがとうやああ愛してるじゃまだ

たりないけどせめて言わせて
幸せですと

いつも君の右の手のひらを
ただぼくの左の手のひらが
そっとつつんでくそれだけで
ただ愛を感じていた

日々の中で小さな幸せ
見つけかさねゆっくり歩いたきせき
僕らの出会いを大きな世界で
小さな出来事めぐり合えた

それってきせき

うまくいかない日だって
二人でいれば晴れだって
強がりやさびしさをわすれられるから
僕は君でらら僕でいれるから

だからいつもそばにいてよ
いとしい君へ

二人ふざけあった帰り道
それも大切な僕らの日
重いよとどけとつたえた時に
初めてみせたひょうじょうの君

少しのまがあいて君がうなずいて
僕なの心みたされてく愛で
僕らまだたびのとちゅうで
またこれからさきも何十年
つづいて生けるような未来へ

たとえばほら明日を見失いそうに
僕らなったとしても

二人よりそって歩いて
とわのあいをかたちにして
いつまでも君の横で笑っていたくて
ありがとうやああ愛してるじゃまだ
たりないけどせめていわせて
幸せですと

うまくいかないひだって
二人でいれば晴れだって
よろこびやかなしみのすべてわけあえる
きみがえるからいきて生けるから

だからいつもそばのいてよ
いとしい君へ
最後の一秒まで

明日今日より笑顔になれる
きみがいるだけでそう思えるから
何十年何百年何千年
時をこえよう

きみを愛してる

I’ll love you more tomorrow than todayThese overflowing emotions won’t stopRight now I love you so muchI can’t even put it into wordsThe days you’ve given me accumulateThe days that have passed, the paths we walked togetherWhether our meeting was coincidenceOr fate, just the fact that we metIs a miracleWe walk close togetherMaking our eternal love tangibleI want to always be smiling by your side“Thank you” and, ah, “I love you”Just aren’t enough, just at least let me sayI’m happyJust having your right handWrapped upIn my left handMade me feel your loveWe found the little happinesses in each dayIn the slow path we walkedOur meeting is just one small thingIn a big world, but just the fact that we metIs a miracleEven on days when nothing goes wellJust being together cheers me upAnd I can forget the bravado and lonelinessWhen I’m with you, lala, I can be myselfJust stay with me foreverMy belovedWhen we fooled around on the way homeThat was one of our precious days, tooAnd when I finally got up the courage to tell you how I feltThe expression on your face was one I’d never seen beforeThere was a pause, and then you noddedOur hearts are filled with loveWe’re still on our journeyTowards the future that will hopefully continueFor dozens of yearsEven if we lose sightOf tomorrowWe walk close togetherMaking our eternal love tangibleI want to always be smiling by your side“Thank you” and, ah, “I love you”Just aren’t enough, just at least let me sayI’m happyEven on days when nothing goes wellJust being together cheers me upAnd I can forget the bravado and lonelinessWhen I’m with you, lala, I can be myselfJust stay with me foreverMy belovedUntil the last secondI’ll be smiling more tomorrow than todayJust being with you makes me feel that wayTen years, a hundred years, a thousand yearsLet’s spend the time togetherI LOVE YOU

hitori jyanai

If I was a camera, then you would be my endless supply of blank photos.

Together we create everlasting scenes

which hold meaning only to ourselves.

We are the blurry pattern of raindrops on a winter's window,

the hug of lovers under the warm starry night.

We are the welcoming of a new sprout,

the sunny lazy mornings under the blankets.

We are the collection of memories

through summer, autumn, winter and spring.

For me, you will never fade, nor be forgotten.

You will never fade, nor be torn apart,

You will only be treasured, for all time.

I'll love you, always .

gomen